I don't know why my brain is fixating on the wedding thing or what my brain is trying to avoid by fixating on the wedding thing.
Pay attention to your dreams. You know, those little hallucinations you have while asleep. Dreams do have occult meaning. Not "occult" as in Magick and Secret Wisdom, but "occult" in its literal meaning: hidden. Hidden especially by yourself, from yourself. It sometimes takes work to find the keys, sometimes it's there in full view.
A couple of small examples from my own experience: It was my feeling of having no control over my own destiny that had me dreaming of being unable to fly the desired trajectory (I have since, by the way, become a more accomplished, if not yet expert, pilot). It was also the more than occasionally casting myself in my dreams as a woman in quite ordinary situations that led me to know that I wasn't playing with autogynephilia.
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Pay attention to your dreams. You know, those little hallucinations you have while asleep. Dreams do have occult meaning. Not "occult" as in Magick and Secret Wisdom, but "occult" in its literal meaning: hidden. Hidden especially by yourself, from yourself. It sometimes takes work to find the keys, sometimes it's there in full view.
A couple of small examples from my own experience: It was my feeling of having no control over my own destiny that had me dreaming of being unable to fly the desired trajectory (I have since, by the way, become a more accomplished, if not yet expert, pilot). It was also the more than occasionally casting myself in my dreams as a woman in quite ordinary situations that led me to know that I wasn't playing with autogynephilia.