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I backslid last week, joining the rest of the country in our patriotic duty of committing every deadly sin to commit in order to give thanks.

I'm not sure this counts as backsliding as I've always been the queen of double entendre, but I had the best time watching A Dirty Shame with some of my friends this weekend during a study break. Hailing as one of the weirdest John Waters movies that I have ever seen, it boasts many awesome Baltimore landmarks and memories of controversy around the time it was filmed. After seeing it you'll wonder if you've hit your head and slipped into another dimension.

First there were the pies. Oh the pies. And cakes. In the last week I’ve had orange cake, an éclair, pumpkin pie, cherry pie, mince pie, éclair pie. I’ve had countless Hershey’s Kisses, Almond Joys, Snickers, Reese’s Pieces, Tootsie Rolls, Juju Bees, sodas, ice creams, popsicles … not to mention stuffing, potatoes, turkey, crab cakes … I think I ate enough food for one month and it was incredible.

Back in first grade we learned the difference between needs and wants, and in psychology we learned about Maslow's Hiearchy of Needs.Technically nowhere on this list is any of the items I've pinned on my board.

None of this is on my pinterest! (Stolen from Wikipedia)

No diamond or gemstone rings, no foofy dresses, no decorations, no sumptuous meals or experiments. However dreaming of what I don't need fulfills my creativity and spontaneity needs, so perhaps I'm not being greedy when I'm buying yet another pair of shoes, silly necklace, or personalized deck of cards with my chosen photograph printed on them.

And exercise? I can’t remember the last time I did a pushup before today. Earlier I completed only 9 out of my goal of 55 pushups and I felt like I was winded and going to die of death. Cardio-wise I’m still very strong, but I could work out more, definitely. hen I got sick I grew into a habit of sitting on my duff and doing nothing. It was awesome to loaf and recover. Well I have recovered and I am super-behind in school and in my weight loss goals.

The thing about weight loss is that I don’t care. If I am fat, then so what? If I am thin, cool, but I don’t need to be thin to be happy. I just don’t care. I look good whether I am fat or thin. What do I care about? Being healthy and feeling good. I have a lot of things I want to get done and I can’t do them if I’m wallowing around and eating crap. I have no desire to have strokes, diabetes, heart disease, colon cancer, or osteoporosis.

Greg and I were on a date at the Cheesecake Factory (more gula!) and were seated by a table with this blonde Snooki look-a-like who was yammering on about the most tedious subjects. Loudly. When she got to her tanning regimen, I wanted to throw butter at her. Skin cancer runs in my family rampantly and while a little bit of sun is awesome I believe there is no excuse for endulging in the tanning bed. There is just nothing more stupid to me than this.

I found the most awesome and hilarious engagement ring website. On Ring Envy women and men share photos and deets on their large diamond or gemstone rocks for others to click "envy." Whosoever collects the most envies wins. However, some of these rings are just grotesque, and the hatefully catty comments jealous readers leave are hysterical.

I also found a new love for a shoe known as Fluevogs.I WILL HAVE ALL THE MONEY AND BUY ALL THE FLUEVOGS FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER! BAH!

I could talk about how superior I feel to others who do stupid things like tan or buy grotesque engagement rings. Or I could share yet more photo projects I worked on Shutterfly. Those things are boring to others after a while though so I thought I'd share a nice photo of the other meaning of pride:

(Stolen from Cheezburger)

I take pride that I done stole found me a pride! Woo!

To get back on track, I have a plan! SEVEN DEADLY PLANS. OOOOOOH.
1. Politeness-To keep from being lewd and distasteful, I will try to burp more quietly and say excuse me. What?

2. Low-carb-I am back on the low-carb bandwagon until actual Christmas parties or actual Christmas day. Wait until a real celebration to enjoy something sweet.

3. Buy presents for others. I have a really bad habit of using all of these shopping deals for myself. Share the wealth!

4. Workout Plan-4 Key moves to do 55 times, 3 days a week: Jumping Jacks, squats, push-ups, and crunches. Walk for the other days.

5. ROAD RAGE-For every stupid holiday driver I flip off, honk at, or yell at I will say five nice things about them to counteract it.

6. Make a Christmas List--Put to bed feelings of wishing and hoping and just ask for what I want!

7.KITTIES--We hope to be getting a kitty for Christmas. This means running by the lease office, filling out paperwork, and doing all the stuff one needs to do to adopt a kitty from a shelter.

I think that's it. I've come up with the deadliest list ever, and nothing else possibly more deadly could be added to it. OR CAN IT?


Hi!. I'm Jen, fiance to Greg, college student, and future crazy cat lady. I love makeovers, decorating, collecting random facts, trivia, playing show and tell, camp movies, shopping, libraries, random singing, random dancing, snuggling, and loafing. Oh, and watching Glee.

Greg has been my partner in crime for nine years. I've known him since high school; he is my soulmate and best friend. He's an actor, a playwright, a poet and works in data entry. We spend most of our time laughing hysterically. We're thinking about getting married sometime this decade and adopting our first cat sometime in the next few weeks.


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May 2012

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